Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Every electronic gizmo was working, right down to my mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nick would leave more high-tech there.
My children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of new gadgets danced in their heads.
My wife in her Snuggie, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down, for a long winter’s nap.
When on the side table there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
I looked, and I saw my BlackBerry flashing and red,
And I knew that meant trouble, as I groaned, “Oh, no! It’s dead!”
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Was little consolation for my lifeless 9-9-3-0.
I tapped it. I shook it. I tried all to no avail.
But, deep down I knew, this was yet another RIM fail.
You see, my Bold became cold as coal three times before
Data wouldn’t provision, BBWorld wouldn’t work right.
Then, an odd defect appeared on the screen in plain sight.
Ever since I bought it, my BlackBerry was a mess.
My friends all chuckled, “Why didn’t you buy the 4S?”
Four times it had failed me, in just more than eight weeks.
For lack of quality, the 9930 in volumes it speaks.
More weary I became with each trek to the store;
The tales of reliability seemed nothing but old folklore
But each time it broke, I ended up playing RIM’s game.
Each time it broke, I called them by name.
“Now, Joshua, Jacob, Marshall and Mike,
You work at Verizon. You know what it’s like.
Sarah and Sally and Susie and Jan,
You’re at Customer Care. Do what you can!”
Their eyes – how they twinkled! Their dimples –how merry!
But all they could say was, “It’s that darn BlackBerry.”
What choice did I have? Maybe the fix was an app?
No, no, not at all. I had fallen into a Trap.
“We can send you another.” That would be number four.
“You can exit your contract.” For a fee, plus lots more.
“Maybe the Galaxy Nexus or another new device?”
No way that’s for me, when $699 is the price.
So, my 9330 is dead, and I’ve no options in sight.
I’m trapped. I’m upset. And it doesn’t seem right.
Blackberry’s Jam isn’t so sweet,
Its trouble will continue, beyond Wall Street.
RIM is in trouble, and it has to do better quick.
If it doesn’t, it may be in dire straits, with more than St. Nick.
I’ll end this rant now, so we can go back to good cheer,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, better mobile in the New Year!
